Amends

Thank you all for your warm anniversary wishes!

My mom's illness has taught us all so many things. We've dealt with the frustrations and idiocy of "the system" - insurance companies, and protocols, and rules and regulations that fail to consider the patient. We've had to battle to allow Mom to see her grandchildren, and fight to allow her the dignity of using the commode, and fight to have her pain addressed.

We've also learned about kindness and generosity, and we've learned that life is precious. We've experienced kindness from so many along the way...the staff at the hospital, the strangers we met waiting in the lobbies, the lady who randomly gave me an outfit for Maya that she had laying around, and from so many friends and family. We've depended on the generosity of so many - lifelong friends and family, those we haven't seen in years, and people who have recently entered (or re-entered) our lives - for food, for support, for their time, for their assistance with our children, and for their companionship, morale support and visits.

All of this has forever changed us - it has taught me to be kinder and more considerate of others, to never pass up an opportunity to offer solace and support. It has taught us to value every moment, and consider each day a precious gift of time. It has taught me that you never know when the last time your "normal" will suddenly be a thing of the past.

Today, Mom and I were talking about making amends. Some people make amends because it is a step in the recovery/healing process. My Mom is thinking about amends as part of the dying process. She has apologies she wants to make, regrets she wants to settle, and hurt she wants to express. In her head, she is making that list...and trying to figure out how to tackle each item. Some days, she has the best of intentions...but she has difficulty finding the words.

As I've sat down to write tonight, the words from the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying" keep popping into my head...is it possible to live each day as if you were dying? To live it to the fullest, without regrets? Is it possible to make amends now, before we have any reason to worry about running out of time to say what we need to say? Amends are a challenge...even when you know you are running out of time. As I examine my life, I wonder what my regret list will be...

The entire house slept in this morning. After Mom's 1:30 wake up, she did not move a muscle until 8:30! I was the first one awake in the house. I got up, unlocked the door for Krystal, started preparing breakfasts, and waited for everyone to wake up. Almost precisely at 8:30, the house started to wake up. I gave my Mom her morning meds, Krystal arrived, and Micah and Maya greeted the morning. My father helped get both children out of bed this morning. After getting breakfast on the table for Mom and Micah, I nursed Maya.

We had a lazy morning...breakfast, snuggle time, tv time. After breakfast, Mom went back to her room to get ready for the day, and I did some cleaning. Elliot woke up and he decided to take Maya with him to services. Micah stayed here...and watched Sesame Street.

Lan arrived right at 11:00, bringing egg rolls! My mom has been so excited for these egg rolls. She gobbled up 3 or 4 almost immediately. My mom got a manicure and a pedicure first, and caught up with Lan. By 12:00, I was working on giving Micah lunch. By 1:00, Micah was asleep, my mom was down for a nap, and Elliot had brought Maya home...also asleep...and I was in the midst of my manicure/pedicure. Mom also wanted Krystal to have a bit of pampering, too, so while Mom napped, Krystal had her nails done, too. There was a full hour of quiet in this house...with everyone asleep or being pampered. I think it was as close to heavenly as I've seen in a long time.

Lan left around 2, and I spent some time snuggling with Maya. Unfortunately, I received a call from our massage therapist...she had to postpone until Tuesday because her sister went into labor. I was disappointed, but how can I be sad when there is another baby on the way?

Elaine and Robin arrived around 4, and Mom and Micah woke up for a visit. We had a great time catching up with them, and the kids were behaving fairly well. Micah took his pants off...but hey, it is just a phase, right?

Jeremy, Jen, Paige and Peyton arrived next. We had a great time with them! Micah could not get enough of playing with his cousins...they ran through the house chasing each other, they went downstairs with Elliot to play in the basement and watch movies, and I think he spent the entire time grinning from ear to ear and shrieking with delight. The girls took turns holding and kissing Maya, and we had a lot of fun. Mom needed a few breaks from the noise, but we all ate dinner together (Ledo's pizza, topped off with the Milky Way cake that Ann delivered last night). Ann - it was unanimous - the cake was decadent and delicious.

Dinner was a bit amusing...different children throwing food, and Mom begging for dessert from about 5 minutes into the meal. Jeremy could not believe Mom's obsession with dessert...he kept telling her to wait until the kids had finished their meal. I think the entire conversation revolved around when Mom would be allowed to eat dessert. Micah seems to be taking after his Grammy...but while she screams for chocolate ice cream, Micah's new favorite word is "cake." I think he screams cake every time he walks into the kitchen, and if he had his way, he would switch to an exclusive cake diet.

After dinner, the kids resumed playing, and Mom sat and talked to us a bit. Around 8:00, she was ready to head back to her room, and Jeremy, Jen and the girls started to head out for the evening. Krystal got Mom ready for bed and then left for the evening. I worked on putting Maya to bed while Elliot put Micah to sleep. Maya finally fell asleep around 9:30, and at 10 I went in to give Mom her pills and put her to sleep.

Dad, Elliot & I retired to the living room to watch tv. I dozed off for a bit, but Mom woke up at 1:30 and needed me. It is now 3:00, and Elliot is snoring on the couch next to me. I'll have to pump before bed, and then we can call it a night.

Some days, I really think about what life was like before all of this happened. My life was very different in May...I had a dog, I had a Thursday night date night, and I had a healthy, young, active Mom who did so many little things to make my life easier and make me smile. We shared hobbies and jokes and loved our time together. I loved watching her forge a relationship with my son, and I depended on her in so many ways. I know this is selfish, but I miss being able to count on my Mom to run and do for me...to babysit the kids, to be my sounding board, and all those little things that were my normal. At the same time, I look around at this new life we are building...it is challenging, but it has so many amazing benefits. I have my Mom around all day long. My children have a unique opportunity to live with their grandparents and forge a different kind of relationship with them. We have so many opportunities to see and spend time with friends and family, and we have been given a chance to reconnect with so many. I hope that I can take advantage of this time together and cherish every moment that we have.

Anniversary

Four years ago today, Elliot and I were celebrating our wedding. It is hard to fathom all that has happened in the past four years...we have moved three times, traveled to Africa, had two children, and now we are dealing with my mother's cancer. Elliot has been an amazing support through all of this...with the children, for me, and for my entire family.

It cannot be easy to live in a house with his in-laws...and yet, he did not even hesitate when I suggested we do this. To be honest, I did not really ask him. I just told him what I thought needed to be done, and he simply said "then we'll make it happen." He just knew that I needed to be there for my Mom and our children, and he saw that this was the only way. So, for that, and everything else you do, Elliot, I thank you.

Today was not a typical anniversary celebration type of day. Elliot and I had no plans together, and we had already decided not to exchange gifts. Normally, I would have tried to do something special or nice for him...and I just did not have the bandwidth to even think about it this year.

I woke up just before 7 with my mother this morning. I gave her medications, and a bit of granola, and asked if she minded resting in bed for another hour and a half until the kids woke up. She said she could listen to her audiobook, and I headed back to bed to nap for a bit.

Maya woke up around 8, and I took her out of her crib to nurse her. Elliot went to get Micah out of bed, and around 8:30, I came out of the room with Maya. Betty arrived, and we decided that things were not working out - it just was not a good fit for either of us.

Betty seems to prefer order, and wants the time to do her job completely and thoroughly. She is a highly competent caretaker, and I think she is used to working in a more controlled environment. I think she is a perfectionist - she just wants to do her job right and to the best of her ability, which means doing her job in a certain order, on a certain schedule, in a certain way.

Our house, however, is filled with tumult...we have 2 young children, Elliot and I work from home and my father is retired, there are always friends and babysitters and other people in and out, and we function at the whim of therapists, classes, babysitters, doctors and clients. Each day is different, our schedule is constantly evolving, and it is certainly always an adventure. I am sure that the chaos will calm down a bit once we settle into more of a routine, but for now, hectic probably does not even begin to describe our world. I think that it must be a difficult situation at best for anyone, and there is a lot of pressure to respond to changes in scheduling and timing quickly, and that often means doing things as well as can be done within the time constraints now and finish it right later.

When Betty left, I contacted Krystal. While we waited for Krystal, I got my mom up into her chair and gave her breakfast. Krystal arrived at 9:30, and got Mom ready for therapy. I have to say, I was so relieved when Krystal walked through the door. I gave her a big hug, my eyes welled up, and I felt my entire body just...relax. I knew we would be okay today, and I knew that Krystal would handle things. It is hard to find someone to trust, and I just trust Krystal to be on top of everything. She seems to understand my priorities, she has a young son herself, and all the chaos and tumult of our home does not phase her at all. Every day, I think how lucky we are that she was assigned to my mother at Levindale.

My Mom had a visit with the home health nurse this morning (we got her bloodwork back - her platelets and white blood cell count have dropped even further), and then she had an OT appointment at 9:30, followed by a PT appointment at 10:30. In the middle of all of this, our landlady showed up with the plumber to fix a few problems (they were unable to fix the leak from the dishwasher). Then, our organizer, Leslie, arrived at 10:30 - and she finished putting our kitchen in order!! What a relief to have that done. Ann Goodman also arrived around 10:30 with a wonderful Shabbat dinner for us! It was fantastic to see her again after all of these years. She had a nice visit with Mom.

I spent most of the morning taking care of Micah and Maya and arranging to interview a new caretaker. At 12:00, I left for the day...I was supposed to have lunch with a friend, but I ended up having to cancel. I received a call about a business opportunity, so I went downtown for a meeting. My father came home to watch the kids while Elliot ran an errand (he picked up a desk for us to use here from a storage unit), and when I left my father was chatting with Ann. Krystal took my mom back to the room for a brief nap, fed her lunch, and got her dressed for the day.

My meeting was fantastic - this was a former client who had a new project and he said he was looking forward to working with me. We will work out the specifics over the next few weeks, but he is completely aware of my home situation and said that he is willing to be flexible and understanding! I'm relieved...I got another email today from a different client looking for a project next month, so maybe I will be able to keep my business alive.

While I was at my meeting, Cat Cleveland, the occupational therapist/vision specialist from The Wilmer Institute conducted a home visit. She gave us a list of recommendations, did a bit of therapy with Mom, showed Krystal a few exercises, and made a few recommendations for other things we can do to help Mom. I think it was a successful visit, and we are working on implementing her recommendations this weekend.

Faye and Barry arrived in the afternoon, too, for a visit with Mom. Barry and my father took a walk to the store, Elliot watched the kids, and Mom and Faye spent the afternoon talking. I arrived home around 4, and Maya had been asleep on Faye for two hours! Mom had just gone back to her room for a nap, and Faye and Barry were getting ready to leave. I was sorry I'd missed the visit.

When I arrived home, I was greeted by the smell of chocolate cake. I realized that Elliot had taken the time in the midst of the insanity...to bake us a heart-shaped anniversary cake! I couldn't believe he found the time to do that...it was far more than I even considered. Micah was being cute...he stole my nursing cover and wore it like a toga!

We woke Mom up from her nap around 6:00, and we served Ann's delicious dinner...brisket, couscous, stewed fruit, carrot kugel - it was perfect. We decided to hold off on serving her dessert (a milky way cake) until tomorrow night when my brother, Jen and the girls come to visit. Instead, Elliot served his cake. Micah was a chocolate fiend! He was covered from head to toe in chocolate (and when Elliot put a second piece on his plate, he turned his back...and Micah stole it!).

After dinner, Mom watched the kids for a bit and did a few of her exercises. Elliot and Dad took charge of the kids while I worked on the mountain of dishes. We will be hand-washing this weekend since our dishwasher is not working. What a pain in the neck!! Around 8:00, Mom headed back to her room with Krystal. Elliot and I then put the kids to bed - he took Micah for a bath and I took Maya. Much to my surprise, Maya went to sleep a little after 9, and has stayed asleep. Elliot had to go in one time to "plug the hole" (reinsert her paci when she woke up crying). I sure hope this is a new trend!

After we got the kids to sleep, I went in to talk to Mom and Krystal for a bit. I took time to read Mom the blog and your messages. Krystal finished with Mom at 9:30 and headed out for the night. She'll be back again Saturday and Sunday. I am not yet sure what we will be doing on Monday (we have an interview set up with another caretaker), but we've got the next few days covered.

I ended up talking to Mom until 10, and then I gave her pills and set her up for bed. I came out and watched tv with Dad and Elliot, and must have dozed off on the couch for an hour or two. My Dad woke me at 1:30 to help Mom, and I've been awake ever since. It is now 4:30 am, and I'm hoping to clean a few more things before heading to bed.

I cannot WAIT for tomorrow (Saturday)! Mom and I are having a day of pampering, and she has been talking about it all day today. We have a manicure/pedicure set up for both of us at 11. Jeremy, Jen and the girls will be coming to visit and staying through dinner, and then we have a massage therapist coming to the house for us in the afternoon. I hope to end my day all relaxed for a change, and I hope Mom is feeling better, too.

Fabulous

I get a lot of messages and emails from people telling me that I'm "amazing" or "fabulous"...and I have to say, I don't understand that. I'm just a person with a sick mother who is doing what needs to be done. I love my Mom...and I know that in a heartbeat, she would do the same for me.

So many of you ask how do I do it...well, as a friend wrote to me tonight, "How can we not?" I think that struck a chord with me...every day, I'm just doing what needs to be done to get through the day. How can I not do it? How can I not care for my children or my mom? It isn't fabulous, it isn't amazing, it isn't even special...it is just life, and it needs to be done. I can't say I ever feel like I'm doing it well...but I'm doing my best to make it all happen.

I'm lucky - I've had an army of people helping me...I have the luxury of babysitters, a husband and a father that are very present, wonderful caretakers for Mom, and so many friends and family bringing food and helping whenever they can. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "it takes a village."

My day started early this morning - my mom was up before 7, a bit confused about the time. I have to say, for just a second I wished I had another hour and a half to relax...and then I pulled myself up and got going. Micah and Maya were awake early, too. My mom got up and out of bed and we ate an early breakfast together. I packed up a bag for the day, and started to get the kids ready. Betty arrived at 8:30, and she spent the next hour getting my mother dressed and ready for the day.

Megan took Micah to preschool today. I love that she sends me texts with pictures of Micah at his cutest throughout the day, like these:

I hate that I have had to rely on her so often, but we had to take Mom to the doctor's office this morning. Mom, Dad, Maya, Betty and I left for our appointments at 10:30. We first met with Dr. Rodbard, Mom's endocrinologist. Mom is doing well, and Dr. Rodbard made some changes to Mom's medicine protocol. I expect her sugar levels will dramatically improve over the next few days.

Our next appointment was with Dr. Boccia, the hematologist. My Mom's platelets had dropped again, and she will need increased monitoring. Her white blood count is incredibly low, too, so that is of great concern. He informed us that Mom will likely not be permitted to continue with her monthly chemotherapy...that was the biggest shock. We are worried about what this means for Mom long term. For now, they are holding off on a platelet transfusion until they see what happens over the next few days. She is having more blood drawn tomorrow, and we'll see where we are. In the meantime, her appointment went well.

We arrived home from our appointments and Mom had her second lunch and took a nap. Micah was napping all afternoon. We had to deal with our landlady about repairing the house (there is a leak in the basement now). Mom's speech therapy was after her nap, and the kids woke up and were playing all afternoon. Maya was difficult again at bedtime - I wish she would just go to bed! We have a full day ahead tomorrow.

Letting go

Just as I think I might have things under some semblance of control...G-d laughs again. My mom only woke once overnight last night, around 3:30 am. I helped her out and went back to bed. Thankfully, the children were good and slept until after 8:00. My mom woke up first, and my Dad got her some granola to tide her over until Betty arrived. Unfortunately, my Dad forgot to take my mother's blood sugar first.

I let Micah sit in bed a few minutes longer, and Dad said he'd get Maya while I helped Mom with her meds. Micah managed to sneak into the room...and steal Mom's applesauce. I ended up putting him at the dining room table with a spoon and some applesauce.

Betty arrived promptly at 8:30, and I did my best to get things moving - I had both kids awake, I fed Maya, I gave Micah breakfast, I picked out an outfit for Micah, and I made Mom's breakfast. I started to become impatient...Mom needed to be out to the table to eat her breakfast quickly so that she could be ready for her physical therapy appointment at 9:00. Unfortunately, it was almost 9:15 before Betty got Mom out of the room and at the table, and Mom ended up missing 30 minutes of her therapy appointment.

At 9:15, I realized that Megan had not yet arrived. I went to my phone to give her a call, and I saw a text from her telling me that she had a family emergency and would not be able to make it today. Dad had already left for the day, Elliot had a meeting, and I just did not know how I was going to get Micah to class and juggle everything else without more help. I tried in vain to get Micah ready and out the door on time, but it became evident that we were not going to make it to class today.

After Mom's therapy, she wanted to go back to her room for a few minutes to finish getting ready. At 10:30, her former co-workers Bonnie and Harriet arrived for a visit! They brought us fresh fruit and a bulghur wheat dish that looked delicious, and an adorable book for Micah. Mom sat and chatted with them for a while, and then there was a knock at the door. When the woman walked in, I was confused, because I thought Mom's occupational therapy was not scheduled until Friday. Turns out, she was there for Maya from the Maryland Infants and Toddlers Program, and I had completely forgotten that she was coming.

We headed downstairs (with Micah, too) while my Mom continued her visit, and she did her evaluation of Maya. Maya is doing great (no thanks to the program). She is at or ahead of her milestones, and she has made significant progress with her sucking issues. We just need to improve her bottle feeding skills (she is still struggling with bottle nipples). We scheduled one more appointment, and then I think she will be released from the program. I did ask her about Micah and whether he should/could be evaluated more specifically for sensory perception issues. She did notice a few behaviors while she was there, and we discussed our family history with ADD, but I have a feeling they won't do much at this time.

After our appointment, I nursed Maya and took Micah outside to play for a while in the back yard. I then brought Micah inside to watch an episode of Sesame Street while I headed upstairs to prepare lunch for my mother. Maya was cranky, and my father arrived back home to try and help out for an hour or so. I sent him downstairs to keep an eye on Micah, and I tried my best to pacify Maya while preparing lunch. Mom and I had more vegetable soup from Sheila, fresh fruit, and of course Mom topped off her meal with a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

I was struggling with what to feed Micah for lunch...so I decided to take the easy way out and I gave him a stick of cheese while he watched tv. After he finished the episode of Sesame Street, I gave him some crackers and fruit, too. Immediately after lunch, I put Micah down for a nap, and Maya, too. Just as I thought I was getting some down time, Mom's speech therapist arrived. Naturally, Maya woke up during the appointment, so she kept me occupied.

After speech therapy, Mom lay down for a nap. Micah slept for over 3 hours, and Mom slept for about 2 1/2 - 3 hours. I started to get a migraine, but Maya just would not give me a break and nap. I ended up getting a few phone calls...from Dr. Boccia and Dr. Holdhoff. We will be taking Mom to see Dr. Boccia tomorrow to have her platelets checked again, and then Dr. Boccia and Dr. Holdhoff will decide if my mother needs to go to the hospital for a platelet transfusion.

While Betty and I were sitting in the living room, I made a comment about having a migraine and wishing I could take a nap. Betty then told me that I was not taking advantage of her ability to help. She is probably right...I'm used to doing things for my mother, and I'm not fully comfortable letting everything go yet. It turns out, she was quite insulted that I did not let her take out the trash yesterday to help me out. I tried to explain that the trash issue had nothing to do with me...Elliot is a little...crazy...about trash. He is a recycling nut, and he really cannot stand it when anyone else takes out the trash. It is just easier to leave it for him than for us to take it out - he will end up digging through the garbage later anyway, and I can't stand to hear the complaining about how it was done wrong!

Betty and I had a good conversation...she also pointed out that this morning I insisted on taking my mother's wheelchair to the breakfast table. That is when I decided to be honest with Betty - I'm frustrated that she takes so long in the mornings with my mother and throws off our entire schedule. I took Mom to the breakfast table this morning because she was 30 minutes late. I had specifically asked Betty to delay the morning washing routine (since she had just washed Mom thoroughly before bed) so that she could get to breakfast early and be on time for therapy, and Betty disregarded my request. I thanked her for how caring and thoughtful she has been with my mother, but I expressed my frustration that she can be a bit rigid and prioritizes doing things in a pre-set order over fitting activities around my Mom's therapy schedule. She kept insisting that my mother should be washed/bathed first thing in the morning, and I tried to explain that it was more important that my Mom eat breakfast no later than 9 because of her diabetes and medication restrictions, that therapy took precedence over morning ritual, and that it was okay if my mother needed to eat breakfast in her pajamas and dress and wash afterwards.

Betty did not seem to approve of that, and said that if Mom was going to eat breakfast in her pajamas, it should be in bed. This morning, my Mom explicitly stated that she preferred to eat breakfast at the table. We talked about the importance of therapy time, and Betty asked why we couldn't move it later. I said that I would certainly request a later time, but that for now, therapy was early, and that my Mom could not miss any more therapy time because of morning routines that could be done later in the day. Again, I pointed out that most of Mom's therapy was done in the bedroom, and there would be no real harm in doing therapy in her pajamas. I hope we settled things - I would like to rely more on Betty and let go, but I have to trust that she will get Mom to her appointments in a timely manner, even if it means setting aside her routines. I know that Betty's heart is in the right place, and I know that this is a learning curve for both of us.

Shortly after Betty and I chatted, Elliot and my father came both came home. Micah woke up next, followed by my mother. Betty got Mom up and to the living room while we managed the kids. Around 5:30, Suzette showed up with dinner from our friends: Gail and Steven Niedelman, Suellen and Greg Kaye, Sharon and Eddie Klawansky, Roz and Jay Baxter, Suzy Starr, Diane and Joey Breslow, Sheila and Les Lichter, Faye and Barry Mertz, Elaine and Robin Wexler, Arleen and Lorin Luchs, Suzette and Joel Levine, Bonnie and Stanley Favin, and Pat Mehok and Kevin Hughes. It was an incredible feast, and our refrigerator is now overflowing with food! We had cheese sticks and fried zucchini, salad, eggplant parmesan, spinach and cheese lasagna, fresh fruit, and cheese cake for dessert. Mom, of course, could not survive the meal without her chocolate ice cream! I think we have no choice but to eat leftovers all day tomorrow.

After dinner, Mom was a bit exhausted. Betty moved her back to the bedroom, and started their nighttime rituals. Elliot and I spent a little time with the kids. Micah was running around, he rode his tricycle in the garage, and he kept running back to see Grammy. My grandmother's friend, Mildred Cantor (Faye's mother) called Mom tonight to chat. It was wonderful to hear Mildred's voice again...I haven't spoken to her in many years, but I used to call her house every New Year's Eve to wish my grandmother a Happy Birthday. Mildred and Mom chatted for a bit, and it was bittersweet.

Micah and Maya hung out for a little while in Grammy's room. Actually, they were so cute together - Maya kept looking for Micah and grabbing handfuls of his hair, and Micah would cuddle close to her, say "baby" and give her kisses. Micah went to bed around 8:15...as he left the room, he said "bye bye, Mimi" to Mom - it gave her a huge grin on her face! Every time Micah has been seeing her door, he waves and says "bye bye, Mimi."

Betty left at 8:30, and my mom rested for a while. Micah went to bed easily, but Maya was quite difficult to put down again tonight. I went in to see my Mom at 10:00 to give her medication and put her to sleep. She woke up again at 1:30, and hopefully she is now back down for the night. Another good day...but I sure hope Megan is able to return to work tomorrow.

Searching for Normal

Rough night, but good day. My mom was up at 1:30, 4:30 and 7:30 last night. Betty arrived at 8:30, and Megan at 9. I had another rough day getting Elliot to get up and help with the children again, but my Dad was doing his best to juggle them while I helped my mother.

I took Micah to preschool today - for the first time in a few weeks. He seemed to be having a great time, but he was very clingy - he did not want me to go more than a few feet away from him. After class, we returned home for lunch. I had just missed the nurse, who came to check my mother's blood pressure and draw blood.

Micah was not much in the mood for eating - he munched on an apple, and I made my mother a tuna fish sandwich. My Mom told me that she spoke to her co-worker and friend Ruby, and that she planned to come by with couscous. My mom has been so excited that she asked me about 100 times today if I knew what time Ruby was coming by to visit. I think she wanted to save her appetite for the couscous.

Patricia was here cleaning the house, and she was a huge help - she managed to put a lot of things in order and help us with the unpacking, too. Megan took Micah out to run an errand, and I stayed behind trying to get a few things done around the house. After lunch, we took Mom back to her room for a bit of a nap. She made some phone calls and rested. Micah and Megan returned home, and Micah also went down for his nap. Megan spent most of the afternoon keeping track of Maya while I made a schedule for my mother, took care of a few appointments, returned some calls and emails, and did a bit of cleaning and unpacking.

Sheila arrived around 3:00...with vegetable soup for us! My mother has been looking forward to this soup since Saturday, and it certainly delivered. She came in and I gave her a tour of the house, and brought her back to chat with Mom. After a while, Betty brought Mom back out to the living room, and Dad arrived home, too. We all sat around chatting, and it was a nice afternoon. Sheila offered to help me get a bit more organized in the kitchen...and I gladly took her up on the offer! We pulled out duplicate food items, moved things around, unloaded 2 more boxes of food, and she helped me cull through some of the items to make more room in the kitchen. When we were finished, I definitely felt as if we'd made a dent in the kitchen. I think I can get the kitchen in order within the next few days.

Around 5:00, the occupational therapist showed up to work with my mother. They did some exercises and evaluations for almost an hour. While they were working, I reheated the soup from Sheila, and she stayed with us through dinner. The soup was DELICIOUS, and it was so nice to not have to think about dinner. Micah skipped dinner and watched Sesame Street. He had actually eaten a ton of peanut butter, so I was fine with that. He was singing along with Elmo's World, and he was just adorable.

We ended dinner with apple pie and chocolate ice cream (of course). We got a call from the nurse who told us Mom's bloodwork indicated that her platelets are low again. She will likely need another platelet transfusion, and we are going to see if her hematologist down here can do it instead of returning to Hopkins.

Sheila left after dinner, and we spent time with the kids hanging out. Micah drank another smoothie that Lorin had left behind...and he cried when it was all gone. Around 8, Betty took Mom back to the room to get her into her pajamas. Elliot, Micah, Maya, Dad and I watched Glee, and Micah was singing and dancing. He cheered "YAY!" at the end of each song. He was being so cute as he hugged and kissed us all, and he kept running back to check on Grammy - giving her kisses, signing (and saying) "I love you."

Mom decided to stay in bed for the evening. Betty left at 8:30, and we left Mom in the room with her audiobook to relax. Elliot bathed Micah and put him to bed while I worked on getting Maya to sleep. Maya finally crashed and we placed her in the swing for a bit before moving her into her crib. So far, so good!

I returned to Mom at 10:00 to give mom her nighttime meds and put her to sleep. Luckily, both Micah and Maya were down for the night - I'm hoping for a good night tonight.

Today was much calmer...I got a glimpse of normalcy again, and I think that we will get into a routine in another week or two. It has been so nice having my mom around us, and I love seeing her and my father interacting with the kids. Micah is finally getting comfortable with Mom again...he used to be so attached to her, but with all this time away (ever since she got sick in May), he just has been more distant from her. But lately, he seems to be paying more attention to her again, and he runs down to her room to check on her and say hi. He also seems a bit infatuated with Betty.

I'm hoping for a quiet night!