I cried my eyes out

Today was Micah's first day at child care at The Children in the Shoe, and I cried my eyes out! He is now officially a Little Star (I had it wrong before . . . I thought he was going into the Lambs classroom). I always knew he was a superstar!

Our day was crazy (as usual). We went to our playgroup this morning, and we brought a kosher for Passover birthday cake we baked for one of the other moms. Nothing fancy, but it wasn't bad for a Passover cake.

Micah had a great time at playgroup! He played on the playmat, and his friend Juliet couldn't stop running her fingers through his hair (okay, more like grabbing a chunk, but at that age, same thing!!) They were even holding hands for a while. I think some of the other women took some photos - I will try and update those later.

We stayed a little too long at playgroup, and I needed to race out of there and get gas for Elliot's car. We finally made it to the daycare center at 2:00 - about 1/2 hour later than I'd planned. I brought him back to the room, and left him there. As I walked out . . . I started to bawl. I was just so sad to leave him. I was worried he would be afraid with all the strangers, and I didn't want him to be sad or lonely. I kept thinking they wouldn't talk to him enough and that he would not get enough stimulation. Crazy, right? It also worries me that many of them speak with an accent, and I worry that hearing poor English will affect his language development. I went to the office and filled out all the paperwork, and then I went back and checked on him. He was sitting in a bouncy seat, playing with a blue stuffed elephant. He wasn't smiling and chatting like he does at home, but he looked like he was fine, so I ran out of there in a mad race to get to my meeting on time!

My meeting went well - I won't bore you with the details, but it looks like I have a chance at another contract. After my meeting, I checked in with Elliot, and he was about to pick Micah up from daycare. I raced home and waited for them. When Elliot walked through the door with Micah, he was clearly happy to see me. He couldn't stop beaming and laughing, and he was just so happy to be with me. I can assure you, the feeling was mutual!

Micah did just fine . . . he enjoyed playing with the blue stuffed elephant while he sat in a bouncy seat, and he took his bottle. They said he was happy and easy the whole time - he even got a wonderful report card to prove it!

All in all, he did really well, but I was a bit frustrated with his caretaker, Aneta. When we arrived, Micah was asleep. We decided to place his car seat in the crib so we did not wake him up (I told her he desperately needed to nap for an hour or two). So, after we placed him in the crib . . . she woke him up to put in his paci "so he would sleep better." HELLO - how does WAKING A BABY UP help them sleep better? I did my best to bite my frustration back, and I went to the front office. I came back to check on Micah before I left, and he was quietly playing. DH picked him up at 4:30, and he was napping - but he had JUST fallen asleep. According to Aneta, Micah took 5 ounces. I told her he probably shouldn't need more than 4 - I have a feeling she force-fed him the last ounce instead of taking the bottle away when he was just comfort-sucking. I'll have to have a discussion with her about not over-feeding him. Needless to say, his belly hurt a bit when we brought him home, and he had a meltdown around 7:30 because he had not gotten enough sleep during the day. We'll have to work that out.

I had to run out after nursing Micah to attend a viewing - the father of our family friend, Pat, died last week. I made it back a little after 8, and Micah was still in melt-down mode. Elliot managed to get him to sleep for a few minutes, but I needed to nurse him again before he finally drifted off. I guess my little guy just needed a bit more mommy time. He was SOOO over-tired today.

Update. . . . 1:02 am. It has been a rough night. Micah was hysterical at bed time, then woke up again at 8:45 and needed to nurse. He went back to sleep, but Elliot and I have needed to run upstairs MANY times to reinsert the paci. I was getting ready to pump when the fussing started again. I reinserted the paci, but he didn't seem satisfied, so I picked him up and decided to nurse him again. While I was nursing him, he was making this horrible rattling noise - he was extremely congested. We used that blue nasal squeegey to clear things out (he did NOT like that) and I finished nursing him. He is currently asleep, on his side, but it is a very restless sleep. I think we're in for a long night and an early morning! Maybe daycare did really throw him off more than we thought.

Childcare Update

We are still working on figuring out a nanny solution (either a part-time nanny just for us, or a nanny-share situation with friends of ours), but in the interim, we decided to take the spot that opened up at the daycare. They offered us Mondays and Fridays (lousy days) but we decided to take just Mondays. Until May 20, they have openings everyday, so we can take advantage of drop-off days in addition to Mondays. We are going to test this out and see how it goes. If the nanny thing falls through, it gets us in the door at the daycare, and we should be able to work out better days by the Fall. We went back to visit the facility this past Wednesday to see the classroom and meet his primary caretaker (he will be a Little Lamb). I was crying while we were there . . . I know I need to get help so I can get my work done . . . but the thought of someone else caring for my little guy breaks my heart. He is thriving, and I'm so proud of the fact that we did that, and I don't think anyone can make him grow and thrive the way we can. But I do realize that I can't do it all myself. I keep thinking I'll feel more comfortable with daycare when he is older - I can kind of consider it early preschool at that point. I guess we'll try this out, and it will give me a chance to see how I'm feeling and if this will work for us. We can add more days if necessary, or cancel our spot and switch to a nanny. I really do believe that this facility will be wonderful for Micah as he gets older, but I wish I was ready for him to be in daycare right now. Keep your fingers crossed that we can find a nanny situation!

Can I have my ear back?

It is Passover . . . a lovely holiday that has those of us who are observing eating cardboard for 8 days. Okay, not exactly. Passover commemorates our freedom from slavery in Egypt . . . the story of Moses (queue The Ten Commandments). We have seders, a special ceremonial dinner, the first two nights of Passover, to retell the story of Passover and celebrate our current lives of freedom. We then continue to eat matzah and do not eat any bread/grains for 8 days to remind us that our ancestors fled Egypt in such a hurry that they did not have sufficient time to let their bread rise.

The first night, my parents hosted seder at their house. Jeremy and Jen and my two nieces all came down, and it was a good event. We grew up with a family who lives around the corner from my parents. My brother and their oldest daughter Rayna were best friends, and we always refer to Rayna and Stuart as our brother and sister. They were back in town this week for Passover, so as is our tradition, they came over to spend time at my parents' house before the seders began. My oldest niece Paige was a bit unsure of Stuart . . . which is amazing, because he is so sweet and gentle that EVERYONE loves him! Early on during their visit, he "took" her nose and her ear. She mostly avoided him the rest of the visit, and cautiously watched him from afar. Just as Stu was getting ready to leave, she said "Excuse me, can I have my ear back?" He laughed for a second and then got very serious. He carefully took her ear out and put it back for her. He asked if that was okay, and she responded with "and my nose." He promptly returned her nose, she flashed him a smile, and walked away. Aren't 2 1/2 year olds wonderful?

During their visit, my younger niece Peyton was still napping. We decided that we would head over to their house to visit and show off the babies to their Grandma Della once Peyton woke up. At 5:00, we headed over there for a visit. It was so much fun to introduce the next generation of our family to Della. We had a nice visit before returning for our seder. When we were growing up, our families always did a seder together, so this holiday is filled with so many collective memories for us.

Another milestone: Micah can push buttons on toys! He was downstairs on the floor with my two nieces, and they kept bringing him toys and showing him how to work them. He had a piano and another toy that played music when you pushed a button, and he kept pushing the buttons and keys over and over again. I can't believe he is ready for new toys!!

We hosted the second seder at our house. Elliot's parents, his brother Steven and his wife Jodi, and two of their chidlren (Brian and Stephanie) joined us, along with my parents. We had a lovely dinner, and Micah got to spend time with his grandparents and cousins. It was a very pleasant evening, and the food was wonderful (if I do say so myself). Elliot made turkey and meatloaf and chicken soup, my mom made brisket and kosher for passover mandel bread (Jewish biscotti) and I made the side dishes and dessert (matzah balls for the soup, matzah farfel, which is the Passover version of stuffing, asparagus, a spinach souffle, a broccoli souffle, kosher for passover brownies and cake - it is amazing how ground up matzah and eggs can actually taste pretty good!). I decorated the cake for my in-laws birthdays. We did have one disaster - the apple charlotte . . . basically, it is made from apples, raisins, crumbled matzah, and eggs, and it is kind of like an apple crisp. It is one of my favorite dishes. It came out perfectly, and I had it cooling on the range. Elliot wasn't paying attention, and when he turned the burner on to heat up the soup, he turned on the wrong burner . . . and kind of set fire to the apple charlotte. He was still hoping to save it and just cut out the burnt parts (yeah, right). My dad, in an effort to help, tried to move the dish from the range top to the granite countertop to get it out of the way while we were cooking. It was so hot that the minute it touched the cold granite, the glass pyrex dish EXPLODED!! Needless to say, we had to throw it away.

I'm now sitting in bed, my niece and nephew asleep downstairs, Elliot watching tv, and I'm typing this and watching Micah on the monitor. I received an email from a friend of mine who is expecting a baby soon saying she got the same monitor and has been playing around with it. They are looking forward to plugging it in to their tv in their bedroom at night. It is funny, because we were going to set it up and plug it in for everyone to watch tonight . . . and then we got distracted. In fact, I don't think we've ever plugged it in to the tv yet. I think we are going to try and plug it in soon and see if we can record some footage of Micah in bed - I'll try and post it when we do that. He is currently sleeping across the width of the crib (or at 90 degrees, as we like to say). He keeps almost rolling over in bed, but he does not fully make it over to his tummy - mostly because he keeps trying to roll "uphill" since he is sleeping the wrong way in his crib. He loves to get so close to the bumpers when he sleeps - I should be more worried about how close his face gets to the material, but I guess I feel like I survived on my tummy and with blankets in the crib, he should be just fine.

In the morning, Elliot's other brother Daniel, his wife Jody, and their son Ethan, are driving down, and the whole family will get together. We are going to try and see some of the cherry blossoms before they leave (weather permitting). I'm making breakfast for everyone in the morning, and it should be a nice day together. My friend Tammy is coming tomorrow night, and I'm hoping the rain will disappear so we can go see the cherry blossoms together. It should be a wonderful weekend.

I think I used to be fun

As the title of this post says, I think I used to be a lot of fun. I really don't sleep, so I was always willing to spontaneously run out and go wherever, any hour of the day or night. Bored and want to play pool? Call Jessica, she'll come meet you! Interested in staying out all night and dancing? Call Jessica, she'll come along! Need to just chat on the phone about work/boyfriend/date/crazy night . . . call Jessica, she'll pick up any time! Want to go for a walk at 3:30 because the weather is nice . . . call Jessica, she never makes plans in advance and will almost always drop everything to get out of the house and procrastinate. Looking for company to get a massage or a manicure? You get the picture. Interested in going shopping . . . okay, that was never my bailiwick. For that, you should probably call my father.

I used to travel a lot - all over the world. I've been to over 35 states and more than 14 countries. I always had a trip planned or in the works. For our honeymoon, we went to Africa. I've been all over Europe, on cruises, and all around the Caribbean. I am a foodie, and I have eaten in some of the best restaurants around the country. I love going to the movies, seeing shows, going up to New York to catch Broadway shows, and attending concerts.

All of this is to say that I do not think I am fun or interesting anymore. Getting out is a challenge, I have no idea the next time I will be going on a non-work vacation, and the only thing I think when the phone rings after 8:00 pm is "I hope that doesn't wake Micah." When I hear about parties, I think it sounds like too much trouble. When I get a call to go on a walk, I think "do I have enough time to go before I have to feed Micah?"

I really miss being fun sometimes. I wouldn't trade a second of my time with Micah, but it does make me wonder if I will ever be fun again.

You've got the cutest little baby face

Today, we will be presenting a photo essay. Micah in pictures. Here are a few of my favorite things:

Hanging out in my loungewear . . . like the slippers?

And the mullet shots (okay, it is part faux hawk). . .

business in the front. . . .

party in the back . . .


Look at that luscious hair!


Can you see my curls?



And let's finish this off with an installment of Micah tv. Press the triangle on the lower left of each picture to watch the videos! Enjoy Micah chatting and playing: