Three Questions

Today I have an EXTREMELY serious topic to discuss. I'm having a horrible time making a decision about some life-altering choices, so I thought the best thing to do was to seek some input. First things first:

Apparently, I am way behind on planning Micah's first birthday party. I have no theme, and no cake choice made yet. Scoff if you must, but apparently I'm delinquent in my psychotic, obsessive, birthday-crazy mommy duties. Here are the ideas I've had so far - please feel free to throw out a few additional ideas!

• Jungle Animals (maybe complete with some jungle trees and vines, lions, elephants, tigers, etc.
  
• Barn/Farm Animals
• Elmo
• Doggy
• First Birthday Theme - "hugs and stitches"
  

Now, on to my next critical "life or death" decision - what should Micah be for Halloween this year? He has a costume party birthday to attend on Halloween, and of course we'll have to take him trick or treating, and I figure he'll look adorable in his costume for his 10 month photos. Apparently, everyone in our playgroup has already bought a costume, and we need to catch up! Here are a few of my thoughts, but please feel free to propose your own recommendations:

• Some kind of cute & cuddly animal. I've seen penguins, monkeys, lions, teddy bears, leopards, tigers, frogs, bunnies, chicks . . . what do you think?
• Elmo - they must have elmo costumes, right?
• Bam Bam - Micah keeps banging everything, so we thought it was appropriate

Finally, last, but not least, I am in the process of buying a new cell phone. I use my cell phone for both personal and work. I use the internet and check my email on a regular basis. I was debating getting the iphone, but I really like having a tactile keyboard (the onscreen iphone keyboard just doesn't quite cut it, and the service for AT&T kind of sucks here). I have now narrowed my choices down to:

• Palm Pre
• Blackberry Curve

Do any of you have these phones? What do you think? I currently have a Palm, so I do like their phones. The Pre has a touch screen with some cool features/capabilities and a slide out keyboard. The Blackberry would give me easier access to email, has a smaller screen, and everything is operated with the little mouseball on the front - no touch screen access. Decisions, decisions!

Hopefully, by the time this post goes up, I'll have set up some polls for you on the right-hand side of my blog so you can vote on these serious questions!

8 month photos

Today we took Micah for his 8 month photos. I must confess - I might be turning him into a metrosexual - we had to use a little hair product to keep his crazy mop out of his face for the photos. I didn't style his hair - just put a little stuff in and pushed it out of his face. We entered the first one into a photo contest, too.

The most beautiful sound I ever heard....

"Mama." Micah is definitely saying "mama" (and "dada," and "hi" and something resembling "doggy" and "Nugget"), but my heart melts every time he says "mama" and looks at me. My mother has informed me that at some point (apparently at 4 am when they are sick?), it stops being cute, so I should work on getting him to say "dada" rather than "mama!" For now, I'm going to savor the cute factor.

Micah has been a huge grump lately, and I'm getting frustrated. He isn't drinking his milk (or nursing), he is not really eating his food, he is cranky and whining, and apparently sleep is becoming optional. I know we've had it quite easy all these months so I shouldn't complain, but I'm worried that there is something wrong. I couldn't get him to take a single bottle yesterday, or nurse for more than 15 minutes all day. He was pretty easy to put to sleep, but he woke up screaming at 11:30. I went back in, tried nursing him, tried giving him a bottle, tried soothing him, and he quickly went back to sleep...until I put him down in his crib. He woke up again, and he was smiling, waving, and saying "hi" and "mama" as long as he could see me, but screaming every time I left his sight. I decided it wasn't worth the battle (since he so rarely wakes up, something must have been off), so I brought him downstairs. I guess he either must be teething or he has been thrown off by the fact we lowered his crib this week (since he has been starting to pull up, we thought it was a good idea to lower the crib now). We kept him downstairs playing with us for about 30 minutes. He spent some of it nestled on my chest and sucking his thumb. When I thought he looked sleepy again, I sent him upstairs with Elliot and a bottle. Apparently, Elliot is a very good rocker, and got him to sleep in about 15 minutes. Micah slept through until 8:00 this morning.

Micah has had several accomplishments this week! First, he has pushed up to a sit a couple of times. He is not doing it consistently (I think he doesn't realize he can do it) but it has happened more than once. He is also successfully pulling himself up to a stand when he can get the leverage correct. He works so hard, and his little faces scrunches up into this expression of steely and stubborn determination. When he finally stands, he looks so proud of himself as he beams with joy, and he usually squeals with delight. He is also cruising - he can walk down the side of the coffee table or the couch, but he doesn't always remember to hold on and keep his balance. Last, and certainly not least, MICAH CRAWLED!! I would not say he is a crawler yet, but on multiple occasions in the past few days, he has leaned forward to all fours, crawled 3 or 4 paces, and then either pushed himself back to a sitting position or flopped down on his belly. I would guess full-out crawling is just around the corner now - a bit sooner than I expected. Elliot went out and bought baby gates and things to start baby-proofing the house, so we are getting prepared for Trouble.

Yesterday, Micah gave himself a black eye. Twice. Yes, I said twice. No, it was the same eye. We bought a new coffee table (it has a shelf on the bottom and 2 drawers) and we also bought these cute little woven baskets to sit underneath on top of the shelf. One basket holds our papers and stuff, and the other basket has Micah's toys. He already knows which is his basket, and he likes to go over there and pull it out and dig out all of his toys. Yesterday afternoon, Micah was sitting and quietly emptying the basket, and I watched him push it forward and tip it back towards him....just a little too swiftly. He smashed the edge right into his eyelid. I thought it wasn't a big deal, so I said "YAY, Micah" and started clapping (hoping that distracting him would keep him from crying). No such luck - he started BAWLING. I went and picked him up, and was surprised when the crying went on and on and on. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a big red welt forming. Poor little guy - he did a good job beating himself up! Then again, when he was wide awake at 11:45 last night, he was playing with the remote control. He managed to whack that right into the same eye. He is a little bruised and puffy today - should look lovely in our 8 month photos. Thank goodness for photoshop!

Micah would not take a bottle again this morning or much of his breakfast. We tried putting him down for his nap at 9:30 and he threw a fit. Elliot brought him back downstairs, and I tried again 20 minutes later. He cried at first, so I sat him up in the crib, gave him a toy, and left. He played for about 10 minutes before laying down and sleeping. We'll see how long he decides to nap, but anything is okay at this point! When he gets up, I'm going to try and figure out what to do with that crazy mop of hair, dress him for pictures and head out. We have Christin coming this afternoon, so hopefully I can get a bunch of work done.

Tonight I have mah jong with the ladies, so hopefully Micah won't give Elliot too much trouble at bedtime. I wish I knew how to get Micah eating again. Perhaps it is just teething.

In other news, I had a bit of a scare - there were reports of a gunman at Montgomery College campus this morning on the news. My mom works there, and I had a bit of trouble reaching her at first. It took about 3 or 4 tries, but when I finally got through she informed me the gunman was in custody, no one was hurt, and all is well. What a relief! Why are there so many crazy people out there?

Julie & Julia

Last night, for date night, Elliot & I went to see Julie & Julia. It was a great movie - just a happy, feel good story. Naturally, it got me thinking...about life, desires, hopes. Julia Child was well into her 40s when she finally found her career and set out on her path. Blogging about cooking through Julia Child's book helped Julie find her way to being a writer when she turned 30. I suppose it has made me wonder if I have done all the things I want with my life? In both cases, it was their love of food that brought them to their paths.

I think the movie made me realize that it is never too late to complete those things on our "wish" list of life. My list has always been long, and it is likely that I do not have the desire to put my energy into completing EVERYTHING on that list. (For example, I am an attorney, but I always thought I'd make a marvelous doctor, too - I am fairly certain I will never go back to school to become a doctor. Or, at least not before I'm in my 60s or 70s).

I have so many different loves - I love to crochet and knit, I love to bake and to decorate cakes, I love food and cooking, and I love to write. My career has very little to do with any of these loves, and the movie made me ask whether I should be doing more to pursue those desires. Or, are they just hobbies?

I think part of me has always wanted to be a writer - it is probably why I love to blog. It gives me an excuse to ramble on and put down on paper some of the random thoughts that run through my head. I love to tell stories, but even more, I think I like to share (what I deem to be) keen proclamations and theories about life as they relate to my personal experiences. Some of my favorites include my bad Chinese food theory on relationships (you know, when you crave Chinese food, it is never a good idea to just grab bad Chinese food at the mall to attempt to satisfy that craving - because a taste of BAD Chinese food just sends you on a hunt for really GOOD Chinese food, and you'll order it 9 million times in a week until you find the PERFECT Chinese food to satisfy your craving. I always used to relate this to casual relationships - you know, they are like trying bad Chinese food to satisfy a craving - it will just make you obsessed with trying to find the good stuff, so you might as well hold out for the GOOD stuff and save the effort and waste), or my paper towel theory on men (back from my single days - I believed that most men, in terms of dating, are like paper towels - they really are only meant to be used once and tossed in the garbage, because if you try to reuse them, they just fall apart - they no longer clean and useful, they just are stained, holy, and raggedy. Some men may be like a good bounty or brawny - you can get 2 or 3 good uses out of them before they fall apart or show signs of wear and tear. If you are looking for something to last, however, you should find a dish towel - those are meant to weather years of cleaning, washing, and reusing. I used to tell my friends that their latest guys were just paper towels - time to throw them out. Based on that theory, we women should enjoy paper towel men - they do serve a purpose - and throw them away when they reach the end of their useful life. But we should marry dish towel men).

In my head, I've had several books rattling around for years. I keep hoping that one day, I'll finally take the time to put them down on paper and release them as a book. I think the movie got me thinking...how do I finally get there? Do I really have time to pursue my writing career while being a new mom and continuing my legal advocacy work that I also love? Or is that just one of those pipe dreams I'll never realize?

I used to think I wanted to change the world - something big in politics, get rich and famous for doing something truly important. But most of all, I wanted the money and the notoriety so I could help DO. Someone close to me recently told me that I have wasted my intelligence - that I should have done more or been something more important. Sometimes, I wonder that, too, but then I think about what I have already accomplished - in my career, in my personal life - and I am not certain that I agree. I have time for my family and friends - something I'm not sure I could have done if I was working on being "important." My work does help people - I will probably never get widespread recognition for that, but I'm very well known and respected in my little tiny niche, and I just enjoy what I do and knowing that I help change things. I also think that I've done things to help some people one-on-one. I volunteer, I have taken on a number of pro bono cases (one that helped several abused and neglected children become part of a family) and I like to share in an effort that it might help even one person for just a few minutes.

For once, I am not exactly certain where I am driving this post. I guess you could say the movie last night spoke to me, and has me thinking - about the future, about what I want out of life, about my own personal goals and dreams. I think Julia Child is an amazing example of how it is never too late to find your voice and impact the world. I hope maybe one day I can look back and say that I did what I was meant to do, whatever that impact is on others.

So, tell me, have you found yourself? Are there goals and dreams on your list? What are the things you have always wanted to do? What do you love? And who has a plan to get there?

8 months

I have to say, time just flies. I cannot believe that Micah is 8 months old today!! We were originally planning to go get his pictures done today, but I decided to postpone it until Monday. Usually, I post a general update about Micah for my monthly post. Today, however, I'm feeling a touch sentimental, so I think I will focus this post more on the things I do not want to forget about this precious time with Micah.

I love how Micah squeals with delight each time he sees the dog, and especially when she gets close enough to touch or comes over to nuzzle him, plant one on him, or just burrow into him. I also think he is adorable when he taps on the floor to call for the dog to come over. She looks at him with this wary expression . . . kind of saying "yeah, right, so you can yank my hair out? I'll think about it - you are cute, you taste yummy, but we'll do this when I say so!"

I love how he lights up with a big smile and starts furiously waving hello when he sees me, and as I get close enough to him, he reaches up to touch my face. Micah puts both hands on my face and just spreads love and joy as he smiles at me, announcing how happy he is to see me and have me so close to him.

I love that every once in a while, Micah still likes to nap on me. I stretch out on the couch and he just nuzzles on top of me with his thumb in his mouth and crashes. Even when he won't take a real nap on me, I love that he gets especially cuddly when he is tired. He rests his head on my chest and sucks his thumb while sighing quietly, and I get the opportunity to wrap my arms around him, snuggle him close to me, and rub his back. I think that might just be heaven.

It makes me chuckle every time he poops - he now grunts and scrunches up his face, so I always know when he is pooping. If it is during a mealtime, you cannot put a spoon anywhere near him - he needs his full concentration while pooping, and he will not let food disturb him.

Speaking of food, I love how he works so hard to feed himself. He very carefully picks up the puffs or pasta, and does his best to aim for his mouth and get the food in there. He is able to connect properly about 80-90% of the time now, and I'm so proud of him! He does much better with big items, like the Baby Mum Mums. He also loves to grab the spoon while I'm feeding him. Unfortunately, he usually grabs the spoon at the feeding end, sending sweet potatoes and other wonderful things squirting everywhere. And don't get me started about the raspberries! He has a thing about blowing raspberries when his mouth is full - especially once you put something colorful (like cherries, or blueberries) in there. The greater the potential for staining, the bigger the raspberries! He just loves to do that.

I love how he chats right now - he talks to his animals, he talks to us. Sometimes, I think he is saying "mama," "hi" and "dada" but I'm just not sure yet. He does seem to recognize words now - I love that when you ask him where Daddy is he turns to Elliot, and he'll do the same for me and for Nugget.

I love watching him think. He surveys the situation - deciding where his toys are, what things he wants to grab, locating Nugget - and then he devises a plan. He decides to lean forward and grab, or try to stand up, or attempt to crawl. He is going to be one devious little boy! He finds things amusing and just laughs sometimes. He interacts with toys and people. He has this joyous smile, and I love to watch how happy he is.

I love that he is in love with Elmo. After the tempertantrum this weekend, last night Elliot & I went to Target and picked up the Chatters Elmo Micah loves. We gave it to him this morning, and he lit up. He has been hugging it, talking to it, and smiling all morning! I'm amazed how something so simple can bring such joy. If this keeps up, we may have to pick Elmo as the theme for his first birthday party.

I love his crazy hair. It seems like Micah's hair is part of his identity now - and perhaps why I've been leery about cutting it. He is the baby with the hair, and people stop and recognize him and notice him because of the crazy hair do and the winning smile. Somehow, it feels like chopping off that lovely mop into a controlled cut will stifle part of his identity and his freedom.

I love how he grabs everything and pulls it out to shred it or eat it - the papers and baskets under the new coffee table or on his nightstand, his toys, and labels. I love how he rolls all over creating a path of destruction, and how he tries to push up to all fours and gets a stubborn expression on his face when he insists on trying to stand.

Happy 8 months, baby boy! I love you with all of my heart. I never knew what joy you would bring into my life, and I am thankful for every second I have with you.